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Archive for the ‘Funny Pet Excerpts’ Category

If a Dog were Your Teacher, You Would Learn Things Like…

If Dog were Our Teacher

Here is a wonderful excerpt that has been passed around and around from one dog lover to others. I received it by email I love it each time I read it and thought I’d share it with all the dog lovers who still haven’t recieved this.

  • When loved ones come home, always run to greet them
  • Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
  • Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy
  • Take naps
  • Stretch before rising
  • Run, romp, and play daily
  • Thrive on attention and let people touch you
  • Avoid biting when a simple growl will do
  • On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass
  • On hot days, drink lots of water and lie in the shade of a tree
  • When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body
  • Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
  • No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout… run right back and make friends
  • Be loyal
  • Never pretend to be something you are not
  • When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience
  • If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it
  • When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close, and nuzzle them gently

Top ten complains that Pets have about their Owners

Here is a list of Top ten complaints that Pets have about their Owners or humans…

I DIdn't Do it!!

1. Blaming your farts on me…..
Not funny… not funny at all !!!

2. Yelling at me for barking.
I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG

3. Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you’re not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”,
then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.

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